Female Gamers

Greetings, fellow gamers, and welcome to this article! As the sole female member of Purple Phoenix Games, I thought I would take the opportunity to touch on some tips and ideas on how to make women feel more welcome in the predominantly male-dominated world of board games.

The first, and perhaps easiest, way to make everyone feel welcome and included is to literally just welcome them to your table with open arms. Gatekeeping can be a plague in the board gaming world, and is perhaps the biggest deterrent to growing this hobby into something greater. Like at the game store, for example. I understand that the staff members are supposed to make nice with potential customers, but constantly checking in with me and asking if I need help, especially when I’ve noticed you haven’t once asked the other male patrons in the store if they need assistance, definitely makes me feel like I don’t belong. The same can be said for patrons, not just staff members. It’s ok to casually talk to your fellow board game enthusiasts in a store, but every conversation doesn’t need to turn into a contest of who knows more about gaming. For example, once in a store I picked up T.I.M.E. Stories to check out the back of the box, only to be promptly ‘quizzed’ by a fellow patron about almost all aspects of the game – designer, mechanics, theme, publisher, heaviness, etc. As if not knowing the answers to those questions meant that I am a poser. I am a woman who enjoys board games, and I shouldn’t have to prove my level of involvement in this hobby to anyone. If I specifically ask something more in-depth regarding a game, then by all means answer my question! But unsolicited questions/suggestions make women feel like they don’t belong. So all in all, if you wouldn’t ask or say the same things to a man in a game store, don’t ask or say them to a woman. Board gaming is for everyone, and gatekeeping makes people feel like intruders and outsiders – and it can ultimately turn them away from this awesome hobby.

The next tip is – don’t presume to know anything about female gamers based on physical appearance. Being a woman doesn’t mean that I don’t like heavy or strategic games. I like a decent party game as much as the next person, but if that’s the only type of game you’re recommending to me, it leads me to believe that you don’t think I’m capable of handling bigger games. I would rather have you ask about my gaming preferences than assume I’m just here for the latest iteration of Monopoly or Cards Against Humanity. Here, let’s try something. In the table below, I am putting my current Top 10 Games List and Travis’ current Top 10 Games List:

Ok, which list belongs to whom? Isn’t it easy to tell them apart? The list on the left is me, and the list on the right is Travis. Surprised? Well you really shouldn’t be, because gender doesn’t dictate gaming preferences. There’s a difference between respectful conversations with female gamers, and ‘mansplaining’ how the gaming world works.

This next one is short and sweet. Physical contact. Just….don’t. Please. Maybe after a good game, we can exchange a high-five or fist-bump, but unless I actually know you, don’t touch me. A hand on the shoulder, standing awkwardly close in my personal space, going in for a hug – not ok! Handshakes are perfectly acceptable greetings for men, so why wouldn’t they work for women too? As I said above, if you wouldn’t do the same to a male gamer, don’t do it to a female gamer. (OR ANY FEMALE REGARDLESS).

This last one goes out to the game designers/illustrators. I know it’s been said a million times, but another iteration won’t hurt. Please, please, please, and pleeeeeease use realistic female artwork in your games. Warrior women would wear full armor into battle, not just a metal bikini. And the average woman doesn’t look like a supermodel. Sorry, but it’s true. If you want players to feel truly immersed in the theme of your game, give them something practical and not just exaggerated. If you’re going to give a male sorcerer a long, flow-y robe, why would you give a female sorcerer a short, low-cut, and exposing robe? They’re performing the same job, are they not? That style of artwork may have been appealing in the past, but with more and more women entering the gaming world, it needs to be edited and adapted for the changing audience. I’m not saying you have to make all your female characters look like old hags, I’m just simply asking that you represent them in a more practical and realistic way. For me, as a woman, games with over-sexualized female artwork make me pretty uncomfortable to play because it just feels weird to be sitting at a table with a bunch of men, playing a game where there’s a half-naked girl on every card. It draws away from the overall experience of the game, and that discomfort keeps me from pulling out those games again.

So I guess the ultimate secret to creating an inclusive gaming experience for women is to just be cool. At my table, no one gamer is better than the rest, and all types of games are welcome to be played. Women have every right to be involved in this hobby, and don’t need anyone’s ‘permission’ to join the club. Just be friendly, and don’t presume to know anything about a gamer merely based on gender. Just keep your interactions judgment-free and friendly, and people will feel more comfortable and welcome in the hobby. Board games are for everyone, and you can help grow this hobby by being a friendly and supportive human being! Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.